The Fine Print No One Told You About

Giving and Receiving:
The Fine Print No One
Told You About


Much has been written about the universal law of giving and receiving, but I have discovered in my dealings with others that there is often a great deal of misunderstanding about how to apply the principle.

The general notion is that the more you give, the more you get.

As you sow, so shall you reap. That’s all well and good, but I believe the misunderstanding of this wonderful secret could be easily cleared up with a simple corollary to the law of giving. The corollary is that it’s not what you do but why you do it. Intention and motivation are everything.

What this means is that you should only give if you are giving for the pure joy of giving. If you give because you expect to get, you are defeating the purpose. The universe is not so easily fooled.

Giving with the motive of getting is actually an affirmation of lack. Saying that you have to get because you have just given is saying to the world “I don’t have enough.” Your belief will soon be proven correct. The energy vibration of lack will only attract more lack.

Again, as you sow, so shall you reap.

Many people I know give grudgingly or feel deprived after they have made a gift of time or money. If you give out of a feeling of obligation or a sense of sacrifice, the underlying feeling is one of lack. Dressing up a feeling of lack under of mask of generosity will only lead to disappointment. It’s not what you do but why you do it.

Don’t waste your time by giving with the expectation of getting a return on your investment. God is not a share of stock that you trade on the NASDAQ (ticker symbol GODD). “If I give, I’d better get something back or else.” Such thinking originates from a position of “there’s not enough.”

While some people give with ulterior motives, there are others of us who rarely give at all because of the belief, “I can’t afford it.”

Henry Ford often said that there are two kinds of people. Those that think they can and those that think they can.t; and they’re both right. Your beliefs create your experience every time.

So much for the ways NOT to give. What to do instead?

My personal experience suggests waiting until you are in flow with life. We all have mood swings. Sometimes we feel good, and sometimes we feel bad. When you happen to catch yourself feeling good, seize that opportunity to give out of a sense of sharing the abundance that is already yours.

By being grateful for whatever you currently have, it is much easier to pass some of your good fortune onto someone else. In those moments, you get the sense that there is more where that came from.

My first experience with true giving, at least in recent memory, occurred during a relapse of cancer several years ago. Once I got over the initial shock of the diagnosis, spiritual aspects within me started to awaken and I began to count my blessings.

After several months of chemotherapy, I had the opportunity to visit New York City during the Christmas holiday season. My doctor had decided to give me a few weeks off from chemotherapy to enjoy the holidays, and a mini-vacation was just what I needed.

The Christmas lights in NYC, the crisp winter air, and the fact that I was still alive put me in good spirits. I was feeling abundant and grateful.

One evening on the way to dinner with my wife and my brother, a homeless man outside the restaurant we had selected asked me if I could spare a dollar. I was feeling great, and I gave him $20 instead.

This in turn made him feel great, and it made me feel even better that I had made his day. The important subtlety for me was that I had waited for my wife and my brother to go inside the restaurant before I gave him the money. I wanted the act to be anonymous, and I didn’t want anyone questioning the wisdom of giving away a $20 bill while I was on medical leave with a very limited income. If I had to defend or justify my actions to anyone else, it would have taken away the joy and spontaneity of the moment.

At that point, I did not know what the future had in store for me, but in that instant things were perfect. I was feeling good, and I didn’t want anyone else to ruin the feeling of that moment by telling me to be sensible. Waiting until no one was looking to give this man some money seemed like the best means to that end.

It was a win-win situation. The guy felt great, and I continued to feel great the rest of the evening. It was my secret. I was feeling prosperous for no apparent reason, and I made someone else feel prosperous by giving him 20 times more than he had asked for or expected. I happened to be in the flow of life in that moment, and it was a perfect time to give.

Over the next few months, my supposedly .fixed. Disability payments somehow increased by 20%. I don’t know how or why, and I certainly didn’t ask.

I did not know about the law of giving and receiving at that time in my life. I was just acting on pure impulse. It was only after I began my spiritual studies that I came across this principle. With my new understanding and the benefit of hindsight, I began to see the connection.

The most important aspect of this principle to me, and it bears repeating, is to remember that it is not what you do but why you do it. If you are having a bad day, or you are in a negative frame of
mind, don’t give just because you think you are supposed to. There is no extra credit for God, and it won’t benefit you or the other person under those conditions.

Instead, wait until you are having a particularly good day and are feeling great. Then give while you are in that state, and observe what happens. If you find yourself doing mathematical calculations to decide how much you can afford to give or worry over what others think is sensible, don’t bother.

You’ve lost the feeling.

Wait until you’re back in the flow and just choose an amount based on your first impulse. Go with whatever amount makes you feel good and that won’t cause you to feel poorer because there is that much less in your wallet or bank account.

This universal law may take only a moment to understand, but it can take a lifetime to master. But just because you haven’t mastered it does not mean that you can’t have fun practicing. Give it a try, and let your own experience be the judge.


John Zappa is a publicity consultant in Austin, Texas. As a refugee from Corporate America, he now chooses to invent his own work.